You can't give what you don't have!

You can't give what you don't have!

septembre 21, 2019   Life purpose,

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. Proverbs 31:25 says so. But why most of time we feel empty and God had given us that strength as women for us to lighten other people’s lives and give them hope and put smiles on their face by giving some of what we are clothed without thinking twice?

I have heard the saying "you can’t give what you don’t have" many times over the years but in all honesty it took me years to truly embrace the concept and really understand what it meant. 

It is a natural tendency to automatically associate giving with things such as a present or money, but giving involves so much more than physical things.

There have been many times that I struggled to completely trust others and it was difficult to open up and love without feeling vulnerable. And sometimes I'd blame someone for not giving me but I was wrong.

When I was young giving was a challenge and it kept me stuck in the past for far too long. I kept trying to figure out why it was so hard to give the very things that were most important to me!

It was not until I recognized that I was not giving those things to myself that I was able to understand why it was a challenge to give those things to others. It hit me that you can’t give what you don’t have!

How could I completely love another if I had not yet learned to love myself? How could I truly value anything around me if I did not value myself? How I trust others if I struggled with trusting myself? How could I forgive if I had not yet forgiven myself?

These were deep questions but ones that held a profound truth and I realized that there are so many people struggling with the same issue. We live in a world that is so busy and filled with daily demands and the pressure of doing, being, fixing and giving. We spread ourselves too thin and we become very good at helping everyone but ourselves. We try to love, nurture, repair, support and give.

The principle of giving to yourself first is one of the key guides to finding inner peace and to creating successful relationships. It is true that you can’t give what you don’t have and this applies to love, trust, value, honor, belief and forgiveness. Self-care and the nurturing of self is at the foundation of living true to who we are and can cultivate the ability to give so much more.

Learning to give ourselves the gift of love, acceptance, value, honor, trust and forgiveness makes it so much easier to then give to those people we care about without hesitation and without feeling vulnerable. It is easy to forget to take care of ourselves first and can actually feel uncomfortable because we somehow come to believe it is selfish and self-serving. However, care of self is actually the opposite of selfish in my understanding.

I am a healthcare giver at heart and as a career and it is my natural tendency to give, share and nurture others but I have learned that it is a must for me to love and nurture me so that I can be at my best when giving to others. I can’t give my best to those I love if I myself am not taken care of. This was a difficult lesson but one that held a great deal of wisdom and has improved my quality of life and the quality of my relationships significantly.

Giving is important and I believe in giving 100% but the best gift you can give to those you love is to give to yourself first!

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Under my mask...

Under my mask...

septembre 21, 2019   Life purpose,

“She is beautiful, confident, and compassionate. A woman of purpose, courageous and in her eyes lies a promising future. She is humble, strong, smart, outgoing and she likes to write. She is so talented, she is a caring mom, she loves people and loves God. She loves sport, she is really fit and a healthy lady, nothing can easily touch her….

That’s what they say when friends asked about who Primy is. At least one of these pops up when they are trying to define me, followed by some of my flaws depending on who you ask. This is what they see...

But under my mask, under the veil I wear every day to make it in this world, I am just Primy, the beautiful disaster. I say this because most of the times I look at myself in the mirror and don’t see “beautiful or strong”. Sometimes I am afraid I don’t have it all to face this world full of confusion, pain, chronic diseases that put us down, death of our loved ones, unpaid bills, hunger, feelings, family conflicts, insecurity, violence, hate, all life challenges and other threats.

Very often, I wonder what my future will look like and I don’t see that picture clearly, and so many times I cry in my bed asking God to release the pain and give me courage to go through another day. Other days, I hate people sometimes for not being what I expect them to be, and I also run away from God countless times because of constantly sinning against him.

Sometimes I wish I am someone else. Under my mask I wish I am a billionaire to afford everything. I wish I am a superhero in time of needs, or a magician to heal diseases. I wish I had the wisdom and perseverance of my father, the boldness, the firmness, intelligence and pride of Bona, hardworking like Rony, professionalism of Anemone and a peaceful mind of Alice. Yes sometimes, I wish I was as consistent in praying and obeying God as my Mom, as innocent like Auda, patient like Anah and calm like Peace Hannelore. I wish had the cooking skills of Nimisha, the selflessness of Winnie, the loving heart of Longin, and the courage of Diane. I wish often times I viewed life in a positive and passionate way like Linda...Under my mask, I am all that and even more.

Under the mask we are all something not really good to show to the world. Not showing the weakness, the hurt, the failure. We are preaching love and yet we hate our siblings and neighbors. Under the mask we are racists, and we fail to let our daughters and sons marry the love of their lives. We are materialists, unfaithful, traitors, beautiful liars, selfish, thieves and killers. We cheat poor, we are corrupt, we are mean step-parents and we don’t care about orphans and homeless people. We break people’s heart, we destroy homes and our nation. Under the masks we wear every day, we are disasters.

But, I came to love God after realizing that only he loves all my faces, but mostly loves more the “Me” under my mask. For Him to finish what he started in us, He only asks us for one thing... “Unveil ourselves” and run to Him, He will make us new. Matthew 11:28-30, and 2 Corinthians 5:17.

There’s strong power in being true to who you are, in embracing your flaws as much as you embrace your fine points. This world lacks Open souls, for most of the people who are always fighting diseases, striving, preaching power and success, are the same people who go to sleep at night and wonder if there’s at least one person out there who loves them for who they are, under their mask.

You still are beautiful and priceless Under the mask you wear, You don’t have to have it all figured out. The legacy we were meant to leave in this world is not playing safe and trying to reach on that last moment clean and cool, but to get there really muddy and tired because we fought real hard, failed real bad, cried real loud... But mostly, we have LIVED as REAL HUMAN BEING! Despite all life challenges.

Under my mask I am loved, washed, sanctified, justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by spirit of our God.

Izi Primy

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Worry not, Dear little purposeful girl in me...

Worry not, Dear little purposeful girl in me...

septembre 18, 2019   Life purpose,

This time it was different. This time it was scary and horrible. It came running as usual to find rest in my soul, but the moment I heard the news I ran away. I ran to hide the hopelessness in my eyes. “No, they shouldn’t have to see it.” “They should not see me cry.” I thought. I looked at the greatness of the mountain in front of this little child in me and then rushed to find in her eyes the strength to climb it, but this time my eyes were blank. This time they were watery. This time I didn’t know. This time, I didn’t understand. This time, I was in need of a shoulder to cry on too. This time I needed to be reminded that it was going to be okay.

It was all done, decision made, the news I wasn’t expecting to get from the person I truly love. And because of that deception, those dreams that got crushed, that bitter truth that came to light- everything I once believed in, turned wrong, I felt deeply sad and I could not believe what was going on in life. I run away to go meet the girl in the mirror who used to look straight in my eyes and tell me to stay strong and I couldn’t find her, the precious, beautiful, prayerful, peaceful, wise innocent, strong and PURPOSEFUL GIRL I used to meet in the mirror.

I looked for her and could not find her. A place in my heart reclaimed her, and right there I realized how much I am missing her. The little girl with fierce funny dreams, the girl that didn’t have to ask for anything in order to Love, that didn’t need to hide to cry, that believed in the good in every single person, that strongly believed in better future… I realized how much I am missing the fearless little girl in me that believed that nothing was impossible even with facts in her hands…For a moment I wondered what is happening to her, and at which point exactly I am trying to let go of her hand along the pain.

Adulthood catches us off guard and automatically makes the child in us almost invisible. Before we know it, we have goals, we have things we wish we could undo, un-hear, unsee, un-know. Before we know it, we are fighting for something, running away from something or just running. Adulthood will introduce us to pretense and secrets, wounds that can’t be healed by kisses anymore. No matter how loud the little child in us might scream to have our attention, we hear nothing, for over the years our hearts learn to live without her/him. Over the years we forget her/his language.

But dear little Purposeful Girl in me, may you always know that I won’t let you die. In the midst of this overwhelming adulthood, may you never feel like I have abandoned you, for often I like to wish I could have kept you close. But I had to live long enough without you, to learn how to appreciate you. You have helped me test the best of lives, the freedom that can only be found in your eyes. You have brought out the best and the realest in me…I can’t wait to have you watch me peel off every layer that I have used to hide you, and to hide how much I need more of you in order to fly so confidently yet humbly like the beautiful butterfly you are.

I thank the winds that made me miss you, because little girl, life has no meaning without you. You are the most valuable part of me. In your Confessions of not knowing, in your Stupidity and Brutality, in your power of Forgiveness and Hope through it all…. I have found Beauty that no smart decision has ever shown me. I like to think that if this world is falling apart today, it’s partly because somewhere along the way, I have let you slip away, believing I could make it without you. And I strongly believe that I am created by God for a PURPOSE.

That PURPOSE will make you restless. It will turn beautiful moments into nightmares, hunt you at night, turn you into an insecure, burn out your confidence, make you look like a fool, fill your mind with confusions, make you question each and every thing until you choose it. Purpose is like a dream you can’t see clearly, one you can’t really describe, but that keeps popping up in your head now and then. It is that feeling only you understand, that doesn’t seem to grow or change when you do, that voice telling you there’s something out there you were meant for. It’s the fire in you that never stops burning…Purpose finds you, purpose chooses you, and purpose never leaves. You, little child, just choose it.

That same purpose will wait for you, and you will know it when you find it. We like to wish God would talk to us and tell us exactly what to do and where to go in detail, but if your heart keeps telling you that something is missing, believe it. The voice of God likes to hide behind the sound of purpose, it will keep calling until you decide to pick up. It might be scary and uncertain, but He who started the good work in us will be faithful to complete it. You just have to be willing to embark with him on the journey of uncertainty and bravery.

Worry not, Dear Little Purposeful Girl in me. The truth is, God is the only one able to reveal his purpose for every detail of our lives, we are just too scared of what that might be or mean. LIVE the given today, be useful, be honorable, be compassionate, do what it takes to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground. Live, love, laugh, give, work, play and pray. God is in control.

Primy

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