Unconditional self worthy and happiness
Last weekend was Viola’s wedding. What a memorable day! Parents, siblings, families, friends and myself dressed well and gathered to celebrate the big day of a lovely young woman creating her small heaven with the man of her dreams. It was magnificent! I thank God I made it to that exceptional Saturday. Food and drinks were served, beautiful music was played. I could not wait for that wedding, I was excited.
Rather the band was singing, the couple dancing, I was screaming (not everyone is a good singer). When I was screaming with them, enjoying every beat, dancing, like everyone around me….suddenly in that moment, I had another thought. That thought was about how amazing it is for two strangers who met and become best friends, soulmate and one flesh. With the blessings from their parents, we celebrated their journey of a lifetime love.
So with those thoughts, I had to tumble back down to earth and my feet finally touched the ground and I finally realized that this was not a personal day for Viola, but only a moment to think about myself, the people we dearly love and who loves us back no matter what, the memorable moments, being there in times of need, the joy, the tears, how they become parts of our life, share struggles and success, and I realized that what I was really experiencing in that particular moment, was HAPPINESS in my heart.
If I get it straight, Happiness is not that I was a dancing unicorn, and smiling faces, it is not an interrupted moment of pleasure, isn’t even the accumulation of many things. True, genuine, authentic love and happiness I felt was about enriching my God given gifts and talents to positively influence and face this world. That peaceful, healthy moment of happiness and gratitude of things I have achieved in my life and people who treasure me and love me unconditionally.
At that night, while celebrating the wedding of the happy couple, that is what I was as well witnessing inside my thoughts. And just like that, that clicked, over some time I have been thinking of success and happiness. Because what I have been obsessed with is figuring out how we, human beings, miss happiness. We get in the colleges, we get the grades, we get the cars, we get people who love and treat us well, we get the spouse, we get houses, we have the kids, we have all opportunities we need, yet we continue to remain unhappy.
I have found out that Happiness happens before success. Though in our culture we have been taught the backward of this formula. We have been taught that if we work hard, we can somehow capture success, and we look underneath it we will find happiness. There are so much more to the story, they are plenty of people who work so hard but they don’t necessarily make it in their chosen careers. Many people who are extraordinary talented, well educated, who don’t make it.
I have found that optimism can be learned. Which really means that every single person has the capacity to hold an icon in the palm of his hand but believe, protect and believe in the idea of the force that it may one day become. We can learn and teach the skill of possibility before we point out problems. I have also learned that relationships have the deepest, richest impact on our level of happiness more than any other factor combined.
Of course I don’t have the power to fix all the relationships in my life and let them go the way I want to happen, but what I can do is to make sure I know the important people that I need to connect in order to have my happiness with that I don’t need to be approved or accepted. I believe that I am the average of the people that I need to associate with. Those people have to be my key leader, my mentor, my coach, a friend and a peer.
There are many decisions people take for us, there are many words talked behind our backs, there are expectations needed from us, there are struggles happening that make us feel unlucky and make us feel we don’t have it all to fit in this world full of competitions to please the society.
But there is also something strong I believe in, which is trusting my struggle knowing that the hardship we go through will somehow end up being our own benefit. I also believe in turning the blind eye to competition and expectations. I strongly believe in loving, in being loved, in giving. I believe in trusting, and I know that I am worthy of happiness just the way I am.
My true happiness I only find it in Jesus and in good decisions I make everyday for my life.
Primy.
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