I Belong!

I Belong!

janvier 31, 2020   Journey,

Recently, some of my friends have been approaching me and reminding me that 2020 has started and telling me to avail myself and get a break from the projects making me “Hidden”! They were claiming not to see my WhatsApp status and answers! And in my thought I started wondering if I am really hidden! Why wouldn’t I allow myself to be seen, recognized or applauded at least for a moment? Why can’t I stay away from the spotlight for a bit? Can’t I just be? Have fun and get away from the busy schedule from work, to home, to homework and undone projects, to figure things out and to sleep late and waking up very early in the morning. How would I allow it? The Hidden me to happen? Would I fight it? 

And then a smile came to my face from the bottom of my soul while answering to my friends that I am not only hidden, but also that “I BELONG”. I belong in a process of learning about the beauty of being hidden in God and let him transform me from the process in which I feel pretty insignificant and unseen; the process in which I am not the star of the day, and not making big moves nor changing the world, to the process in which I am making the best version of me, making good decisions. God making me fit in this world encouraging me to go out there, fly, and become; to find and fight for a place to belong, to be the best me and simply shine in to the world.

I belong to my home and people who make it a home. I belong to the peace of my mind and to the love of my soul. I belong to commitment and to hard work. I belong to innovation and to finding solutions. I belong to praying and praising, trusting and believing. To giving, hoping and receiving. I belong to forgiving and healing. I belong to health and safety, equity, equality and liberty. I belong to the ones who chose to belong to me and chose to protect my feelings and my belongings. I belong to loving and being loved. I belong to happiness and success. I BELONG! I belong to the human race, most importantly where there are no color, culture language or social discrimination.

Some people just feel like they don't belong in certain areas. There's no real reason to spend one's life miserable and unhappy, living in a place where they may feel ostracized or unwelcome. It's okay to be who you are and to feel how you feel, but of course, everyone else in the world may not agree that feeling that you belong is most important in seeing value in life and in coping with intensely painful emotions and disappointment. Belonging feels comfortable. It feels like sleeping soundly under a fluffy down comforter, 2000 thread count, or made of the finest cashmere, in the perfect room temperature and the right amount of light in the room.

It is hard not to belong anywhere and almost impossible to allow ourselves to be hidden. It is hard to go through a process where it’s just me and God, I can assure you. It’s hard not to feel like you’re making an impact; it’s hard not to feel special. It’s hard to be hurt and having nothing to say. It is hard not getting answers you deserve. It is hard to lose the battles, and not having the needed support. But in the hiding, I am deeply being changed and transformed; in the hiding I am renewed and becoming the best version of me. I will never forget what I have seen and felt in the hiding. It is a marvelous place to be when you are hiding with God.

It’s what sustains me under the spotlight; it’s what keeps me going in tough situations; it’s what keeps the fire burning deep inside, the vision running, and the peace and joy overflowing. The hiding place is where the Lord Father trains the child; the hiding place is where I felt I Belong to Him and I am very grateful. 1John4:4, Isaiah 44:5 and 1Corinthians 3:23.

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The New Journey with God..

The New Journey with God..

septembre 23, 2019   Journey,

Good things happen when you put yourself in someone else’s shoes and see the world from their point of view and it makes sense to do. From the point of view of the universe, we are all much the same. You were born here, but you could have been born over there. She was born there, but she could have been born here. These are the good things that happen when you put yourself in someone else’s shoes and start the journey most of time figuring out thing that matters but you run out of time because you don’t fit in the shoe and most confusingly you don’t have space to keep the ones you were wearing. It’s not your journey and you can’t help it.

Well-developed empathy implies not only understanding what the other person is feeling, but also anticipating their response to such feelings. Well, just because it is a tough class that exposes our fears, flaws and craziness. It is a confusing journey that needs all our attention and guidance from something bigger than ourselves, but GOD.

Dear God, I am here to thank you for giving me a new pair of shoes. Honestly, it seems uncomfortable and painful and it’s the only pair you have chosen for me, it is part of me, it is mine I can’t walk without. Yes I get it, but Father, It would be really cool if in every step I make with it along my path, I feel happy, smart and fit, but I am afraid with this pain I may disappoint you.

Of Course, I have decided to put it on and trust you, even though at the beginning I didn’t like its colors, its shape and its weigh on my body, it’s not a trending brand. I just wanted to keep the one I was having you decided to take away from me. I loved it, I thought it fits perfectly. With this new one, I feel the bleeding and sweating lifting it, and the scars are being formed! Does it mean that I am fighting for something great?

Heavenly Father, Give me strength to embrace this journey wearing them. Please walk with me and teach me how to walk in these shoes humbly, confidently, delicately, and consciously. Teach me how to gracefully learn from my falls and when I stumble, please give me another chance to crawl, and grow through my flaws. Teach me how to walk in them when the ground is thorny or slippery. When I can’t see ahead clearly, teach me not to grow weary. Teach me how to wait patiently as I walk every mile with you. “ISAIAH 41:10”

Today, I am grateful for the time I’ve spent struggling with and fighting myself. I am grateful for the lessons learned and uncomfortable days I had to spend in front of my mirror learning to love EVERY PART of me before I learn to love another human being. I am grateful for the confusions that led to better knowledge, deep understanding and mistakes and pain that gave me a closer look at who I really am, what I really want and what kind of person I see holding my heart forever.

I am grateful for every tear that led me to You Lord, and your throne, and every breaking that taught me to stay on my knees always. I am grateful that You have been really patient with me as I crawled my way back to You, that You never gave up on me when the future You were showing me scared me and made me go back to what felt more familiar. I am grateful for the dreams that died, and those you spoke to life as I laid in my grave.

I believe my story is going to be different, and I am going to experience what it means to have God order my steps. I strongly trust that You know very well my desires, matter of fact You are the one who created me and gave them to me. I trust that You have my best interest at heart, And I fully surrender all to you and let you write my story. Take me wherever you want me to go, reveal to me who You really are and your purpose towards me when creating me. I believe, on this journey with you, with every step, every mistake and every confusion…the picture will get clearer, things will start making sense, and new dreams will come to life while walking holding your hand.

Izi Primy

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